Haanel wrote:
This is true because we must ‘be’ before we can ‘do’ and we can ‘do’ only to the extent which we ‘are’, and what we are depends on what we ‘think’
Which came first, the chicken or the egg. Which determines what? Does your “method of thinking” (discussed in point three) determine who you are or does who you are determine your method of thinking.
Haanel leaves us in no doubt that thinking is the foundational activity in the whole process. Thinking determines who you are at any given point of time, and it is from who you are that you act the way you do. At least, from your personal perspective.
Others people, outside yourself first get to know you through your actions, which will include things like the way you hold yourself, your grooming, the clothes you wear, the way you speak etc. etc.etc. If they choose to develop that relationship further, given time and the development of trust, you will eventually get around to sharing your thoughts and ideas. (For a fuller treatment of this see Thanks Joe, Thanks Harry
And that is where so many people get it wrong. They focus on their actions first and foremost. They are more concerned with ‘doing’ rather than ‘being’ and that, almost always leads to one of two results. Either they are trapped playing a role which is different from who they really are or they gradually reveal their true nature and, because it is different from the image they initially presented, they face rejection.
Why is that? Because of underdeveloped self-esteem many people will go to extraordinary lengths to appear to be someone other than who they truly are. Their thinking goes something like this:
I am not happy with my current situation. I need to change it. I need to find a new group of friends. In order to do that I need to make myself attractive enough so they will want me as a friend. I need to change the way I do things, because what I have been doing so far hasn’t got me what I wanted. So, I will act different and present myself as someone other than who I really am.
Uh-oh!!! Can you see the flaws in that line of reasoning? It is contained within the sentence ” I need to change the way I do things” Haanel has rightly pointed out that the starting point is not in the doing but in the thinking. To change who you are (assuming that is what you want to do) you need to change your thinking first. The rest will come as a natural consequence.
We learned back in point two that Mind is Creative Thinking is the process of using Mind to develop creative energy that can change your current situation to something quite different from what you have now. It will invariably take longer than, say buying a new outfit, but it will be more authentic, less energy sapping and definitely longer lasting in its effects.
Authentic in the sense of what you do will reflect the true winner you are.
Less energy sapping in the sense that you will not have to continually create the illusion of being someone you are not
Longer lasting in its effects in the sense that once you get comfortable with the new you, maintaining your new self will be a breeze.
But, what if you don’t want to change who you are? What if you are very comfortable with your sense of being. Then simply allow that to permeate through all you do. And that, my friend is a life of integrity, which is just about the highest standard of life anyone is capable of.
Living a life of integrity does not mean that you will necessarily be liked by everyone. In fact, I can guarantee you won’t. But, if you are true to who you are, and allowing, even encouraging, others to be true to who they are then you are making this world a better place and if I could, I would shake your hand and say thank you!
